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Archive for September 6th, 2011

Here Is The News, Again, 4th September 2011 | theVoiceofReason.co.uk

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David Cameron wanted to update his Hug A Hoodie strategy to Headbut A Hoodie following the London riots, a secret report discovered today reveals.

But the Conservative Party policy committee said he would not be able to pull it off because he is seen as being too much of a softie.

In the same email the alternative suggestion to change the Hug A Hoodie campaign to Bear Hug A Hoodie with the option of slapping their bottoms while in hold, was also rejected as it was considered to be ‘too public school to work on the streets.’

via Here Is The News, Again, 4th September 2011 | theVoiceofReason.co.uk.

Written by edparnell

September 6, 2011 at 6:29 am

Posted in Satire

Dead Island review: In need of brains | Joystiq

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Dead Island is probably the most realistic depiction of the inevitable and oncoming zombie apocalypse in video game history. It’s typified by desperation, sacrifice, frustration, terror and an overbearing sense of hopelessness.

But there’s a catch. Though the zombie apocalypse may occasionally be grimly satisfying or fleetingly triumphant when you survive another night, there’s one thing it almost certainly won’t be.

Fun.

via Dead Island review: In need of brains | Joystiq.

Written by edparnell

September 6, 2011 at 4:07 am

Posted in Games

Sentences you never hear anymore

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Written by edparnell

September 6, 2011 at 2:40 am

Posted in Funny Pics

Zombies No Longer Required to Extend Arms Out in Front (Skunk Nation)

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AMSTERDAM — In a reversal on a policy that dates back over 1300 years, Zombies are no longer required to lift and hold their arms outstretched in front of themselves.

Paul Bernsauer, President of the International Alliance of Zombies and Swamp Monsters told reporters that his memberships had been complaining for centuries about the now-abandoned practice.

“You ever try keeping your arms up like that for four or five hours?” asked one Zombie, who asked not to be identified. “It’s freakin’ painful.”

According to Bernsauer, Zombies will still be required to march “straight-legged, without bending their knees” when approaching potential victims.

via Zombies No Longer Required to Extend Arms Out in Front (Skunk Nation).

Written by edparnell

September 6, 2011 at 2:00 am

Posted in Comedy, Satire

A sad tale of balloons

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Of4Zs.jpg (JPEG Image, 459×3742 pixels).

Written by edparnell

September 6, 2011 at 1:29 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Gregory Weinkauf: UFO Hunter William J. Birnes Talks Aliens and Apollo 18

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There’s a new thriller out this weekend, concerning the 18th Apollo mission to the moon (and the scary things which, in 1974, allegedly occurred there), and there is some speculation on the part of its producers as to whether the footage is “real” or not. Okay, Messrs. Weinstein, fair enough. We’ll run with that. I’ve had a look at the trailer for Apollo 18 and, apart from its outer space setting, it features a montage of two lunkheads going crazy and yelling and smashing stuff. Either this is a movie about a covert lunar landing gone horribly awry — or it’s a metaphor for what happens when you blindly pick a roommate off Craigslist.

via Gregory Weinkauf: UFO Hunter William J. Birnes Talks Aliens and Apollo 18.

Written by edparnell

September 6, 2011 at 12:26 am

PluckPersona | Democrat and Chronicle | democratandchronicle.com

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If this happens, you can take in more juice or a granola bar to raise your blood stages back to normal. You may also think about a substitute consume instead of fasting completely whilst next a program for excess fat loss.

Nutritional supplements, drugs and powders

There are hundreds, if not 1000′s of capsules, powders and dietary supplements you can get in addition to your method for body weight reduction. Be knowledgeable and be mindful that you know the components they have and how your body will react to them. The very best solutions to change your meals will consist of the vitamins and minerals you will be lacking if you are skipping a meal. A prepare for losing a pounds will often produce enough diet and will not deprive your body of what it needs. Keep clear of solutions that incorporate substantial stages of caffeine as they can induce aspect results and may perhaps be dangerous in significant doses.

via PluckPersona | Democrat and Chronicle | democratandchronicle.com.

Written by edparnell

September 6, 2011 at 12:23 am

Posted in Blogs, Food

NASA To Launch Two ‘Grail’ Moon Probes To Measure Gravity

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CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. — Four decades after landing men on the moon, NASA is returning to Earth’s orbiting companion, this time with a set of robotic twins that will measure lunar gravity while chasing one another in circles.

 

By creating the most precise lunar gravity map ever, scientists hope to figure out what’s beneath the lunar surface, all the way to the core. The orbiting probes also will help pinpoint the best landing sites for future explorers, whether human or mechanical.

Near-identical twins Grail-A and Grail-B – short for Gravity Recovery and Interior Laboratory – are due to blast off Thursday aboard an unmanned rocket.

Although launched together, the two washing machine-size spacecraft will separate an hour into the flight and travel independently to the moon.

It will be a long, roundabout trip – three to four months – because of the small Delta II rocket used to boost the spacecraft. NASA’s Apollo astronauts used the mighty Saturn V rocket, which covered the approximately 240,000 miles to the moon in a mere three days.

NASA’s Grail twins will travel more than 2 million miles to get to the moon under this slower but more economical plan.

The mission, from start to finish, costs $496 million.

via NASA To Launch Two ‘Grail’ Moon Probes To Measure Gravity.

Written by edparnell

September 6, 2011 at 12:21 am

Posted in Science, Space

The Teenager & The Porn Star – Features – Los Angeles magazine

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On Sasha Grey’s first X-rated film shoot, while having sex with an Italian porn star named Rocco Siffredi, Sasha angled her head toward Siffredi’s face and said, “Punch me in the stomach.” It was May 1 and Sasha—small boned, pale skinned, and brunette—had just turned 18. The movie, which has the ungainly title Fashionistas Safado: The Challenge, was directed by a man named John Stagliano and has been the most anticipated adult film of 2006. In the San Fernando Valley—which produces more pornography in a week than ancient Greece did in 1,000 years—Stagliano has enjoyed a career arc not unlike that of Steven Soderbergh. In 1989, in a movie called The Adventures of Buttman, Stagliano ditched the decades-old scenarios and stock characters of X-rated films—the pizza men and nurses and detectives and stranded motorists—and instead filmed just sex. As in Soderbergh’s sex, lies, and videotape, released the same year, Stagliano’s actors talked to the video camera about sex—and then had it. The new genre, with a nod to Colorado’s most infamous writer, was named gonzo.

via The Teenager & The Porn Star – Features – Los Angeles magazine.

Written by edparnell

September 6, 2011 at 12:18 am

Posted in Interesting, NSFW

Rock Star Bob Geldof Raises $200 Million To Invest In Africa – Mfonobong Nsehe – The Africa Chronicles – Forbes

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Irish rock star and former Boomtown Rats front man Bob Geldof has raised nearly $200 million for an Africa-focused private equity fund, Reuters has reported.

 

In September 2010, it was widely reported that Geldof, who has gained a reputation for his vocal advocacy for debt relief to Africa, was looking to raise a $1 billion private equity fund for investments in the region.

The fund, called 8 Miles (the distance between the southern tip of Europe and northern Africa) will make investments in financial services and telecommunications, but will nurture a bias for agribusiness and manufacturing, as Geldof told Reuters:

“Currently 80 per cent of exports from Africa are unprocessed raw materials. There’s your opportunity: they need manufacturing.”

via Rock Star Bob Geldof Raises $200 Million To Invest In Africa – Mfonobong Nsehe – The Africa Chronicles – Forbes.

Written by edparnell

September 6, 2011 at 12:17 am

Posted in Business, Hero, Music

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