Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category
While still a teenager, my youngest daughter was determined to take on the role of used car salesperson when we sold our old Chevy Tahoe. Her approach was impeccable: Before letting the prospective buyer so much as touch the car, she gave him a tour of its defects, the dent in the rear left fender, the slight tear in the passenger seat, the fussy rear window control. Only then did she lift the hood to reveal the pristine engine bay. She knew the old rule: Don’t let the customer discover the defects.
Pointing out the limitations of your product is a sign of strength, not weakness. I can’t fathom why Apple execs keep ignoring this simple prescription for a healthy relationship with their customers. Instead, we get tiresome boasting: …Apple designs Macs, the best personal computers in the world…we [make] the best products on earth. This self-promotion violates another rule: Don’t go around telling everyone how good you are in the, uhm…kitchen; let those who have experienced your cookmanship do the bragging for you.
The ridicule that Apple has suffered following the introduction of the Maps application in iOS 6 is largely self-inflicted. The demo was flawless, 2D and 3D maps, turn-by-turn navigation, spectacular flyovers…but not a word from the stage about the app’s limitations, no self-deprecating wink, no admission that iOS Maps is an infant that needs to learn to crawl before walking, running, and ultimately lapping the frontrunner, Google Maps. Instead, we’re told that Apple’s Maps may be “the most beautiful, powerful mapping service ever.”
After the polished demo, the released product gets a good drubbing: the Falkland Islands are stripped of roads and towns, bridges and façades are bizarrely rendered, an imaginary airport is discovered in a field near Dublin.
The three-season year had been in place in Britain since its formalisation by Wodecnute in the 9th Century, so when Prime Minister Harold Wilson proposed changing to a four-season year, in keeping with most of Europe and the United States, opposition was fierce and vocal. One MP, Galwin Tite, famously locked himself in the despatch box of the House of Commons, refusing to emerge until the legislation was repealed.
This is something interesting. a guy pops acid and then tweets what he feels and sees as the trip unfolds.
It’s a hell of a ride, folks
Being declared dead, erupting volcanoes and the outbreak of civil war are just some of the unbelievable excuses that British lecturer John Curry has heard from students over the last 14 years.The City of Bath College computer expert said many of the unusual, but mostly legitimate, explanations for not completing work were from students looking for 24 hour extensions.’Some of the excuses seem pretty improbable, but when you have someone’s death certificate in their hands, you have to accept their excuse,’ Mr Curry told the Times Higher Education Supplement.One student even claimed he had wrongly been arrested for being a Chinese spy before being released just in time to plead for a deadline extension.Another was granted an extension because the Indian government had attempted to seize his home after he had been declared legally dead.’I was grieving over the death of my World Of Warcraft character, was another excuse offered by one misguided pupil. However one student did manage to gain some extra time after convincing the lecturer they were bring spooked by a ghost.’That person genuinely believed there was a ghost and I actually accepted their word and gave them a few more hours,’ he explained.
In 2004, The New York Times’ Stephanie Zacharek negatively reviewed the video for the Beastie Boys’ new single “Ch-Check It Out.” MCA a.k.a. Adam Yauch, who died today at the age of 47, had directed the video under his pseudonym Nathanial Hornblower. He didn’t take kindly to Zacharek’s review, and let her know in a letter to the Times demanding, among other things, that she send him a goat.
One Goat, on Account
To the Editor:
I had the great pleasure of reading your unsolicited critique of the “Ch-Check It Out” music video ["Licensed to Stand Still" by Stephanie Zacharek, May 16]. It took some time to get to me, as it had to be curried (sp?) on goatback through the fjords of my homeland, the Oppenzell. And in the process the goat died, and then I had to give the mailman one of my goats, so remember, you owe me a goat.
Too young, Adam. To fucking young.