Police Announce Manhunt for Giant Man and Face-Tattooed Woman; Find Them Almost Immediately
Just one day after police in Cambridgeshire, England announced a manhunt for a 7 foot, 3 inch man and a woman with a “distinctive” face tattoo (both wanted for questioning in a murder case), authorities reported they have managed to find them. Imagine that. How did they do it so quickly? Just great detective work, I guess.
Detective Chief Inspector Martin Brunning said in his initial statement Monday that the suspects, 47-year-old Gary Stretch, whose last name is perfect, and 30-year-old Joanna Dennehy, whose last name should, according to the constraints of this story, be “Facetattoo,” were “very recognizable – even more so if they are together.”
This kicked off what were likely a tense few hours for every platonic best friend duo consisting of one (1) giant man and one (1) woman with “a distinctive green tattoo on her right cheek,” who hadn’t stabbed a man and dumped him in a ditch by a major road over Easter weekend.